Wapanese Weekly

Week 95: Catch-up week part 4 - Seriousness

2011-12-15T15:06:00.000Z

It has come to my attention in my searching for this week's final target that about a year ago YouTube was ablaze with video flame wars on the subject of people with non-Asian ethnic origins dressing up as anime and videogame characters, or more specifically whether they should be allowed at all. Since I like to claim that this blog, consisting of what is essentially formalised bullying, is ultimately making a liberal political statement about cultural fetishisation, I want to take a moment to say that this sword cuts both ways. If someone wants to dress up as a fictional character for shits and giggles and/or nerd fame and attention, it is their right to do so, regardless of race.

Dressing like an idiot is nobody's fucking birthright.

Week 94: Catch-up week part 3 - Gastronomical

2011-12-15T12:20:00.000Z

In today's penultimate post, jtsjtreats is our guide on a magical journey, as we exhaustively (in both senses of the word) explore all varieties of Pocky.

No, really. All of them. This won't let up any time soon. Grab a snack (not Pocky).

And finally...

So now we know. Chocolate on a stick tastes like chocolate on a stick, except where the stick is not covered in chocolate. User jtsjtreats, tackling the questions no one else will answer. Or ask.

Week 93: Catch-up week part 2 - Explanatory

2011-12-15T11:40:00.000Z

In the second of four posts this week, MilkiiHoney attempts to explain the word "Otaunds a bit like Kermit the Frog at the begin't really decipher what point it is that she's trying to make because she keeps crossfadrofound insight into the human condition.

Week 92: Catch-up week part 1 - Documentarian

2011-12-15T11:07:00.000Z

Hello everyone. Been a while. Let's catch up.

First up, Otaku Unite! is a documentary which - so I'm told - isn't taking the piss. Here's the trailer. Judge for yourselves.

Week 91: Roleplay

2011-11-28T14:16:00.001Z

TheAnimeOtakuStar likes to pretend to be anime characters on the Internet.

Yeah, pretty boring. To be fair though that's mostly your fault for not commenting.

And that is the end of this episoh wait two more minutes.

Week 90: Maik your dreams come true

2011-11-16T13:58:00.001Z

"Young and sexy !?" user JapanMaik offers some foolproof advice for wooing a mystical Asian beauty all your own.

Week 89: The Biggest Losers

2011-11-08T22:23:00.001Z

Two weeks ago I promised I'd find the best of the worst interviews from the America's Greatest Otaku contest. One week ago I didn't. This week Blogger's new design has been messing me around, but now I'll finally make good on that promise.

First up, Ryan Donafey speaks/squeaks over herself through the astral plane somehow.

You'll note that our host Dominique belongs to a group called the "Mangaloids", which is... something.

Next we have voice actor Todd Haberkorn, who considers himself, through some convoluted logic, somehow ethnically entitled to win. I can't say I'm pleased to bring the amazing racism tag back from what I had hoped was retirement, but there you go.

Finally, allow me to introduce the "Bleach-Schneider" family.

Actually, no. Let's not end on that horrifying spectacle. Instead, let's finish with another blast from the past:

Week 88: The Biggest Loser

2011-10-25T12:01:00.000+01:00

Well actually that isn't all becuse I missed a week, so let's catch up.

Channel tokyopoptv, belonging to recently defunct manga publisher TOKYOPOP, was last year searching for America's Greatest Otaku, by means of cheesy advertisements. Let's watch...

I like the way they describe being an utter tool as if it's an exclusive club to which one must earn the right to gain membership.

'Who won?' you ask.

'Who cares?', I reply.

There's rather a lot of other, worse material, consisting of interviews with the applicants, which we may take a look at next week. See you then!

Week 87: Catastrophe

2011-10-25T11:37:00.000+01:00

MurdocLC, informatively also known as "An OTAKU in Sweden", named his cat "Akira-chan".

That is all.

Week 86: Stand down

2011-10-16T16:04:00.001+01:00

Remember CosplayComedianJoe? Well GeekComedianAaron takes Joe's winning formula of torturously drawn-out observational jokes based on niche pop-culture, but gives it a whole new spin by way of being called Aaron instead of Joe. Also he doesn't cosplay and his material occasionally touches on things other than anime.

Here's a sample of one of his routines, with his otaku pandering shit at the start.

One wonders how long it took him to get from clearly establishing the two Internet memes he chose to piggyback on and thereby alerting the audience to the precise content of his creatively bereft punchline, and his actually delivering it. We shall never know, since he himself chose to put a crossfade edit at that point in the video.

While we're here, though, let's see what Joe's up to these days.

Oh God, so much worse.

Week 85: The TwilightErik Zone

2011-10-09T11:27:00.001+01:00

User TwilightErik takes a break from his very slow rave (don't you have a lightswitch in that room?) to show us his imported Japanese videogames, every single one of which is readily available in English.

Now here's the thing: why, of all things, would you import SoulCalibur II? The only rational reason that anyone could possibly have for importing Japanese games which can be found cheaper locally is some obsessive loyalty to the original voice cast, but SoulCalibur II's Japanese cast is on the English version. Does their simply having been put up for sale to a Japanese audience grant those games automatic superiority to their functionally identical Western counterparts despite TwilightErik's blatant inability to read a word of them? Are those "pretty cool advertisements" incentive enough on their own?

Week 84: Nyantasmagoria

2011-09-28T16:48:00.000+01:00

User MewNyan does this.

I don't know what this is, but this is what she does.

Memories...

She also likes to pretend to be an Asian idol.

I for one wonder what it was that she edited out of that Magibon montage. Was there a peace sign or duck-face which didn't quite match up to her exacting standards? We will never know.

Week 83: Trailer trash

2011-09-21T12:25:00.002+01:00

User hevechan makes trailers for her fanfiction. There's not much more about that I can say, really.

The audio on this next one has been "desabled" for copyright reasons.

Fanfiction trailers.

Trailers, for fanfiction.

Week 82: A disgusting floppy thing no one wants

2011-09-17T22:40:00.003+01:00

And look what he's eating.

User realjoygazm - much like last week we are discouraged from accepting substitute Joygazms - has nought but four videos to date. Two of them are montages of otaku conventions set to bad music, which I shan't bore you with, and the other two are like that one.

Which I am boring you with.

Week 81: Union

2011-09-07T18:39:00.000+01:00

OfficialOtakusUnite is, unsurprisingly, the official YouTube channel (as opposed to one of those fake ones) for three-man website Otaku's[sic] Unite, a name which says everything about them one needs to know. Here is one of their number giving us his first and only "Weekly Review" video, uploaded back in July. Honestly, these weeaboos. No work ethic.

The problem with longer videos is that I can't sass them on a point-by-point basis without overdubbing my own commentary track, and I'm frankly not prepared to put that level of work in to this blog just now. So I can neither tease him for his evident sexual insecurities (PINK!), nor for his tellingly protracted pause over the subject of having any friends. Oh well, live and learn.

[ARCHIVE LINK]

Week 80: GREENhent

2011-08-31T14:13:00.000+01:00

User GREENhent, responsible for these valuable contributions to the feminist movement, presents this tribute to his heroes.

And this one to the imaginary objects of his desire.

It is 2011.

Week 79: Darasu Kaubo-izu

2011-08-25T11:18:00.000+01:00

In a short and sweet update this week, user MrMttjess wanders around in the dark to let us know "why Japan has the best stuff", so long as he can stay focused on that topic for five minutes.

Japan is the best country in the oh hey look Call of Duty... sorry what was I saying again? Oh that was it: Dallas Cowboys, woo!

[ARCHIVE LINK]

Week 78: Twenty questions

2011-08-17T13:41:00.001+01:00

Apologies for the late posting of this week's update. I may have to drift by a day or two every so often in the near future, but I'm still going to keep it one per week regardless.

EmOUchihaHime, aka "Kio-chan" does this kind of thing:

No need to shout. Since we now know that's what she's all about, here's an excruciatingly tedious example of her cosplaying and rambling in character:

She has also created a list of "20 moments when you know you're a cosplayer".

Curiously, not one of those was, "When you dress up in costume as a fictional character." I dunno, I think that would have pretty much covered it.

Week 77: Television sucks

2011-08-09T12:01:00.001+01:00

User bobsamurai calls himself "the Great Sage", and is "In a league of [his] own" apparently. Maybe there's subtleties to his own improvised ranting about trivial shit on YouTube that I'm not picking up on. Anyway, he doesn't want to see brainless commerical TV.

He'd much rather watch giant robot cartoons greenlit on the back of their merchandisability. Now there's artistic integrity. He goes on:

You know... um... anime is Television too. And is commissioned and cancelled according to ratings and the whims of advertisers and executives too.

So.

Week 76: Ptchew ptchew ptchew!

2011-08-02T21:43:00.001+01:00

YouTube user (sorry, "tuber") TuxedoRay has invented a new genre of nonsense. Hot on the heels of Let's Play comes Let's Read:

But that's not all our "child at heart" does. Here's a quick breakdown courtesy of his profile page:

"My videos include:
*Let's Read: My version of an LP. I give you the plot of the latest episode of Shippuden & OP by way of Shonen Jump! Will NOT include the filler eps.
*RAW Recap: Basically will fill you in the latest episode of Raw!
*Anime Recap: I talk about the latest US episodes of DBZ Kai that are either not on dvd yet or not on yt.
*450 Breakdown: I show you the rest of my manga collection that includes less popular incomplete titles. DVDs as well if they match the manga title. Inspired by Inside the Box.
*Last Man Standing: Almost like a Let's Read (if u collected the old AI magazine), I pick 2 anime characters (w the help of Anime Insider) & have them duke it out. inspired by forneverworld
*Sustain the Industry: A monthly thing where I show you my 10 (at least) latest purchases. Sometimes the #1 purchase gets its own video.
*Anime Quckie: A cross between Spotlight & 2MD, I talk about an anime that just came out or I just started watching & inform u of how it gets the thumbs up (or not).
*2 Minute Drill: I fill u in on the latest anime, video game,or wwe news in a short time. An Anime Recap under 4 minutes used to fall into this subject j4tr."

Blimey. Here, for example, is one of his 2 Minute Drills, in which he rambles about porn games while filming their cases.

Child at heart indeed. If you're curious what the hell The Tux is on about, dirty Wap retailer J-List's 'Tube channel has the answer:

And to close, here's one of his curiously named Anime Quickies.

Week 75: And the winner is...

2011-07-26T12:03:00.001+01:00

Scarlett Young! Here's her own HYPER JAPAN 2011 convention highlights video, including her winning performance at the UK Kawaii Star of the Year contest:

I have no idea what is happening.

If one is to squint at the screen behind her during her dancing-fashion show-thing, an age somewhere in the mid-teens is blurrily displayed, so I suppose I shall have to hold back with the venom a bit. For now.

Even so, I can't let this creepy as hell statistic from one of her straight-to-camera vlog videos (and one which rings true for many of them) go unmentioned.

Ick.

Week 74: UK Kawaii Star of the Year

2011-07-19T14:11:00.001+01:00

This is an actual thing that happens. What's more, it is an actual thing that is happening this very weekend. Prime chemical weapons test target HYPER JAPAN 2011 (their caps), a convention - or "J-culture party" - which could save me years of effort if I was to just ask people for YouTube channel names on the door, hosts an apparently annual contest called UK Kawaii Star of the Year. Let's look at the five finalists:

#1 - Crystal Cheung

#2 - Gemma Boyle

#3 - Nazia Hussain

#4 - Rebecca Attridge

#5 - Scarlett Young

The winner gets a special Wapanese Weekly edition.

If someone wants to go to HYPER JAPAN 2011 as an undercover Wapanese Weekly reporter (your job would consist of having a camera and silently pointing it at pretty much fucking anything) they will be very welcome to do so. If not, I'm sure I can get by with videos uploaded by sincere attendees as usual.

Week 73: Hug an Asian Day

2011-07-12T09:39:00.000+01:00

TheBoredOtaku doesn't seem very bored to me, but I suppose I should be thankful for his unexpected enthusiasm considering the alternative. Here he ramblingly apologises for not posting in 5 months, then goes on to explain his interesting idea for supporting victims of the recent tragedy in Japan (his "would-be homeland").

That's right, randomly and indiscriminately embracing possibly-Japanese people and telling them that "we need you for the manga". Anything to stop those filthy Americans from tainting Nihon's sacred long-running action comics for children with their long-running action comics for children.

I shall let the rest of this muddled knot of topics and confusing jokes speak for itself, but I will say that when I first watched this video yesterday evening I honestly thought he was talking about building "a giant Mecca", which made the whole thing rather confusing until I realised my error.

Week 72: An Open Letter and an Announcement

2011-07-05T10:14:00.001+01:00

Last week, on a post which has just been pushed off the front page, "Anonymous" (and, presumably, Sakura simultaneously) posted the following comment:

I'm sure you'll agree, that opening sentence is a thing of beauty.

This appeared to coincide with the YouTube user in question obliterating his entire collaborative channel and every video on it (including videos by another user), so I suspect zachycards actually does care what I think of his/Anonymous' fanfiction, and cares rather a lot more than anyone else posted on here.

I am, incidentally, uncertain what he's threatening at the end there. The only action he could take which would negate my reasons for posting his videos would be rethinking his life.

So, I offer zachycards the following open letter:

Dear Mr Zach Y. Cards,

I should warn you that the way you are conducting yourself - deleting your whole group channel and posting vague threats behind a mask of (failed) anonymity - is not doing you any favours. I should also let you know that you are the only person in 71 weeks to respond to being posted. Food for thought.

There are a few ways in which one can deal more healthily with becoming the subject of ridicule on Wapanese Weekly, for example...

If you feel you have done nothing wrong, you have two options. The first is to contact me (openly or privately) explaining why you feel you do not qualify for the Wapanese Weekly treatment. I reserve the right to disagree - it is my blog after all, and in doing so I should try to make it clearer what it is that I personally find objectionable - but I will not ridicule civil conversation. The second option is to simply ignore it and move on. The miniscule Wapanese Weekly audience is made up entirely of people who already agree with me, and you are therefore unlikely to encounter them in your usual social engagements, meanwhile the front page only holds a meagre 5 posts anyway. Conversely, anyone who does already respect you is highly unlikely to see Wapanese Weekly and have their feelings for you suddenly inverted - they are far more likely to be just as offended as you are.

Whereas, if - in the unlikely event - you feel regret for being enough of a tool for me to choose you over the rest of YouTube's weeaboo army, and wish to turn over a new leaf, I will respect this, and should you ask, I would go so far as to mention it on the blog. Though I would prefer it if you have enough of a sense of humour about yourself that you would not delete things my readers find funny - I, myself, have plenty of terrible nonsense lying around on the Internet which I leave in place as a strange sort of warning to myself; my years-old MySpace blog being the worst of it.

My point, Mr Cards, is that you are old enough to know better than to feed the trolls.

Sincerely,

Joel Atkinson, of more specific AwfulVision ripoff Wapanese Weekly

The saddest thing is that he didn't even make for that good a post. Not a patch on otakuiankun1 or CosplayComedianJoe. We'd have totally forgotten him if not for this Internets Drama.

All of which brings me to an announcement; one I teased way back in February:

Introducing the Wapanese Weekly Archive!

To demonstrate, user zachycards here takes a break from grooming his magnificent neckbeard in order to tell us about his Cardcaptors fanfiction.

"But wait, that video was taken down :(", you say.

Maybe, but that doesn't mean it's lost forever:

[ARCHIVE LINK]

If a video goes down, fear not. If it was still available in January of this year (or posted later), I have it backed up.

Sadly this means a few videos are lost, apparently forever. These are:

Week 1 (can be found, but will not be archived for copyright reasons)
Week 9
Week 15
Week 19
Week 29
Week 39 (final video only)

Of course, if anyone who remembers them finds one of these videos (aside from the first one) reuploaded elsewhere, feel free to drop me a line in the comments. Some were voluntary user removals, but others were forced channel closures for unconnected ToS infringements - I expect a few of them to have resurfaced in fresh channels, as did Emily of the still mindblowing Week 17.

Also please get in touch if you see a video that isn't on that list has since gone down and I've not spotted it.

Finally, I shall not be reuploading the first video of Week 62, as the user was already breaking my old-enough-to-know-better rule, so I think it fair to give her more of a break.

So thanks, zachycards! You're a hero to us all! And in 5 weeks' time we'll have forgotten you exist, assuming you don't get all whiny again.

Week 71: NOT SAFE FOR WORK

2011-06-28T11:11:00.000+01:00

Or home. Or YouTube, frankly, but somehow this has gotten past the all-seeing Googlemind for a full three months.

Remember how Medaka350 mercifully used opaque adhesive tape to cover up the nipples upon his new figure's "exchangeable" breasts? Well, user Th3dArKn3o (how do you pronounce that? "Th-three-d'ar-no-three-oh"?) has no such inhibitions regarding his pornogaphic body-pillows.

Okay, that video afforded nought but a glimpse of the nude one. This next one however is - oh! It's "The Dark Neo", I see. This next one however is much less restrained. You have been warned.

Stay classy.

Week 70: Troll Showcase 2

2011-06-21T12:15:00.001+01:00

Time for another annual Troll Showcase, showing off the small contingent of people who share my pain, but who, instead of overtly mocking as I do here, choose simply to imitate in the hope that the targets of their satire will be made to reassess their own lives. And also to feel smugly superior to the people who would be on their side but for totally missing the joke.

xXKawaiiXNekoXChanXx - a character as nuanced as last year's brilliant MagicalPockyUsagi - shows us how to draw like a pro:

And xCarmle responds in kind:

Hail to thee, brave YouTube parodies! Rest easy in the knowledge that the world will never be quite that bad. Though it may get uncomfortably close.

Week 69: Week SIXTY-NI--oh wait.

2011-06-14T13:16:00.000+01:00

Already made that joke. But that won't stop me repeating the hentai reviewer theme this week.

Once a week, user sifian likes to tell us what he's been masturbating over lately:

He's so earnest with his anime porn reviews, it's almost endearing.

But one day he came across user PhantomZwei's review of visual novel Yume Miru Kusuri, below.

Sifian was not happy.

HIS IMMERSION, SHATTERED. Though I guess I should be happy that he's not calling it genius purely on the basis of its Japaneseness. That's incredible progress as far as this blog is concerned.

To play us out this week, sifian sings us a song, apparently from the bottom of a well.

Week 68: Certified

2011-06-07T13:36:00.000+01:00

If Jack Tretton wasn't boring me half to death until 3 AM last night I'd have prepared something a bit more interesting, but this shit will have to do for E3 week.

CertifiedOtaku593 just isn't comfortable on camera with her shirt off. Which is why she is here seen on camera with her shirt off. Pointing at her cleavage.

Her videos are the usual. YouTube vlog crap. With mid sentence. Cuts, and. Painfully unfunny jokes. Which ordinarily I'd pass over for something more uniquely rubbish. But this one made me nostalgic for simpler times:

Big-ish updates resume next week.

Week 67: Card Craptor

2011-05-31T11:24:00.002+01:00

Posting for two-member group channel TheFearSome29, zachycards here takes a break from grooming his magnificent neckbeard in order to tell us about his Cardcaptors fanfiction.

Basically, his fanfiction (or what little of this as yet incomplete 19 chapter epic I could endure) consists primarily of a note-for-note retelling of the show, but with him doing everything in precise synchronisation with the protagonist. An excerpt from the first chapter:

"It was then that as if by magic, the catch on the book came undone by itself. Sakura and I jumped back thinking that something scary would jump out and attack us. But, when nothing did, both of us slowly opened the cover of the book. Inside the weird book was a stack of cards, both Sakura and I picked up the top one, the cards name was in English. "The Windy" we both said in unison.
"It was then that the card began to glow bright blue. About a second after, a tornado surrounded me and Sakura. Both of us closed our eyes, so both of us ended up missing the glowing circle on the floor, which was identical to the one on the back of the cards."

It was then that zachycards deemed it necessary to provide us with an explanation of this opening part, so I'll hand over to him.

Insightful! Curiously his partner in this group claims to create "fanfiction parodies" (though as it turns out this just means entirely sincere fanfiction) but zachycards is quick to point out that such frivolity just isn't his scene. Anyway, since we're on a roll let's hear what he has to say about Chapter 2.

Damn. Can anyone lipread? I need to know how he crafted this masterpiece:

"And with that, Sakura and I wrote our names on the bottom of the Fly Card with Sakura's name below mine. "Why don't the both of you try it out?" Kero asked after Sakura and I were both done writing our names on the card. "What can the card do?" Sakura asked. "I think I got a pretty good idea" I said in response as I crouched down and picked up the Fly Card.

Sakura and I then once again raised our staffs, swung both of them down at the same time, and tapped the Fly Card at the same time. "Fly!" Sakura and I yelled/said in unison, and after the one word was said, both of our staffs grew wings on the top. Sakura and I then got on our respective winged staffs, and then, after a few seconds, we took off into the sky. "This is awesome!" Sakura and I said in unison. "I knew I could count on you two CardCaptor Sakura and Zachary" Kero said. "Hold on, we haven't agreed to anything yet!" Sakura and I both said in a somewhat confused and frantic tone of voice as all three of us flew across the sky."

Well, he doesn't have anything to say about any of the subsequent chapters, but that won't stop us from having a little peek at the latest one to see how his writing has developed. SPOILERS!

"And with that, Sakura and I once again raised out staffs high above our heads "Jump card grant your power to us, Shadow conceal us from the people at the festival, Jump, Shadow, release and dispel!" we chanted together. A few seconds after Sakura and me had chanted the incantation, the Jump card and Shadow card spirits appeared, and the next thing we knew, we both took on huge leap and jumped our way through the park towards the fleeing Glow card spirit. When we had finally caught up with the Glow card spirit, I asked Sakura if she was ready to seal the Glow card, Sakura told me that she was ready. And with that, both of us once again raised our respective clow staffs high above our heads and chanted "Glow card, we command you to return to your power confined, Glow card!" and about a second after that, the Glow card was sealed. Sakura wiped some sweat from her forehead and said in a somewhat exhausted tone "wow, that was a really difficult card to seal" I then told Sakura that I completely agreed with her on that last statement."

And with that, Sakura and I must simultaneously bid you farewell until next week.

[ARCHIVE LINK]

Week 66: Not a weeaboo

2011-05-24T13:33:00.003+01:00

RobertGalvinPresents (or "Terra" according to his profile) explains what distinguishes him from the Urban Dictionary definition of the common weeaboo. His logic is summarised in the video's description, transcribed here:

"I am not a weeaboo. I am obsessed with the Japanese, I do like Japanese culture more than American culture, I do want to be Japanese, I am knowledgeable about manga, ditto with anime, I am learning Japanese, I do have an Asian fetish, I do call myself an otaku. I fit many categories for being a weeaboo. In short why am I not? I am not annoying about my knowledge, I don't boast my skills, I don't constantly talk about anime/manga, and I am well equipped with knowledge in the realms of comparative religions, politics, society, news, science, math, and many many other categories.
On Otaku: Until somebody shows me a Japanese word for "nerd" that doesn't have a negative connotation I will still use otaku as it is the closest one I have ever heard about. Until then GO AWAY!"

So you see, he isn't a weeaboo because he is good at maths. His racist fetishes, disgust at his own cultural background, pathological need to use a Japanese word in place of a perfectly workable English one, and stated desire to "be Japanese" don't matter one iota. Good at maths? Not a weeaboo. Glad we cleared that up.

Now, as for the video, embedding has been disabled. I've never understood doing this. I can just post a direct link, so it's not like he's putting up an effective defense against mockery.

Here ya go!

He's not a weeaboo, he just wants to renounce his American citizenship. Mathematically.

Week 65: Toyotally disgraceful

2011-05-17T11:11:00.000+01:00

22 year old user jrharbort loves Vocaloid, but frankly, right now he feels betrayed.

I don't see how this being a "rage video" is likely to stop "trolls who want to make comments about being butthurt or a fucking weeaboo" from doing so. Butthurt fucking weeaboo. But how dare Toyota sully their pure Japanese heritage and not use those anime drawings!? HOW WILL MIKU FEEL!?

I don't think you realise how hurt jrharbort is, Toyota. Just look at what she means to him:

I sure can't wait to see a voice synthesizer performing live.

Week 64: Room for improvement

2011-05-10T11:13:00.003+01:00

YouTube user anime861 has no time f-- hang on a second.

"Anime861"? Is that honestly the best he could muster as an online alias? Did he actually type "anime" into the username field on the YouTube sign up page, only to discover that - SHOCK - eight-hundred and sixty-one other people had been identically creatively bankrupt? Christ.

Anyway.

User anime861 has no time for pretenders, as his obligatory Otaku Room video attempts to explain.

I don't know why you have a poster on your wall for something you don't like either. If only there was some way in which you could correct this contradiction.

Our self-styled true otaku also bills himself as a voice actor, auditioning for voice roles in fandubs of anime which already have professional licensed dubs (so, basically unjustifiable piracy). Let's take a look at his audition videos for Shiraishi Minoru from Lucky Star and (HATE HATE HATE I HATE YOU ANIME861 HATE) Koizumi Itsuki from Haruhi.

"Your struggle and ultimate failure to pronounce his name is so raw, so real. You're hired!"

"That's it! That's exactly what we need! Too many of our hopefuls get tied up with unnecessary things like emotion, and acting."

How he's not gone pro yet I don't know.

Week 63: Samuwrong

2011-05-03T09:58:00.001+01:00

User Tamari95 sums herself up nicely with the following YouTube profile entry:

Here, she shows us her friends' mad ninja skills. Heaven or Hell, Duel 1...

Let's mock!

Hell. Definitely Hell.

Week 62: Bad Language

2011-04-26T11:05:00.000+01:00

User hanakawaii21 wants to teach us some Japanese!

I appreciate that my occasional posts criticising people's grasp of the Japanese language have a fairly niche audience, with this blog's readership consisting pretty much entirely of Facebook and Twitter pals, almost none of whom speak a word of it, but suffice it to say that 誕生日 is not read "tan-juu-buu". You should assume, therefore, that this is probably funny to someone.

As is her generally accent-heavy pronunciation.

I don't normally post people under voting age (if the electoral system assumes you're an idiot I'll generally give you a break, unless you're unusually bad), but I make an exception when people are factually wrong in a really easily researched way.

Week 61: Otaku Idol

2011-04-19T10:23:00.000+01:00

In this week's essentially disposable last-minute post, functionally named user animejpop here shows us a couple of entrants to Otakon's "Otaku Idol" contest, in which the ratio of lyrics sung to lyrics understood is approximately 97,593,489,641:1.

And because it wouldn't be Wapanese Weekly without it:

Week 60: Taste (a small portion of) the rainbow.

2011-04-12T12:41:00.001+01:00

User skittles0703 is, let's be frank here, a massive racist.

I don't have a fricking clue why she chose to censor her swearing in the video title but not in the video itself. Regardless, about a week later, she decided to explain herself in more detail:

Exploring her channel further reveals that when she says "Asian", she basically means "Japanese", because hey, what's the difference right? Here for example, are the tags to the above video:

And here she titles her visits to various European tourist spots in Japanese for no discernible reason:

Naturally she gets pretty pissed if anyone suggests that her admiring people specifically for their racial heritage is perhaps a just little bit hugely offensive. Here she presents her case to the contrary:

"Especially even if you aren't even Asian, stupid White guy, you know?"

Well when you put it like that there's no way you could be racist.

Week 59: Week SIXTY-NINE more like

2011-04-05T11:40:00.000+01:00

Completing the hat trick of creepy losers, I give you asymmetrisch.

"After some days of exploiting her for his pleasure, he feels sorry for her because he's actually a nice guy."

OH WELL THAT'S FINE THEN.

How could this possibly get worse? A Valentine's Day special?

Oh.

Week 58: Funbags

2011-03-29T10:55:00.003+01:00

It's been a while (in relative terms) since one of our "contributors" showed us around his or her lodgings. User Gigafrosty puts that right today:

Pant... pant... carrying... webcam... pant... so... tiring...

But what was that? A "dozen pillow bed"? Do tell us more Gigafrosty!

There is another video in this series, but it's TWENTY FIVE MINUTES LONG, so I won't torture you with that. Instead, let's have a look at the kind of thing which constitutes the bulk of his 561 videos over the past five years:

Now you know, down to the exact day, when he received that body pillow. And yes, that mousepad does have breasts for a padded wrist rest.

Week 57: The Internet is for Porn

2011-03-22T10:06:00.002Z

User Medaka350 claims not to have had a floppy drive since forever.

I'll bet.

And if the first two and a half minutes of that alone weren't proof enough that we are witnessing the end of human civilisation:

"The breasts are exchangeable".

Just...

I...

"The breasts are exchangeable".

Week 56: Super Driver nail into my skull please

2011-03-15T12:26:00.001Z

Been a while since I wrote a title like that. User uberpwnage13 is - once a-fucking-gain - a Haruhi fan (it's an elaborate international conspiracy to make me hate it, I swear), and here tells the world by enrolling some friends in a re-enactment of the title sequence to the second series in Tedious Ancient Internet Meme-o-vision.

Forever alone.

Week 55: Troll? Idiot? You be the judge.

2011-03-08T11:05:00.000Z

Because honestly CatStarxo - or "Chiyo", pronounced "Chai-yo" for some reason - has me well and truly stumped. If she is a troll, she deserves far more views than she's currently getting what with her extraordinary attention to detail. But on the other hand she seems far too young to be this clever, and if she's an idiot, she's the perfect storm of idiot. Case in point, her channel's About Me section:

"Hello everyone, My name is Chiyo its Japanese ^^ here is some usefull information about me Age: Teenager Country: United Kingdom Eye Colour: Blue Nationality: Full British, Half German and Half Sottish Dream Country: Japan Im going there next year to have a japanese host family ^^ Ideal Boyfriend: Asian Boyfriend (Japanese,Chinease,Korean) Languges:English,Japanese I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IF I HAVE HAD ENOUGH JAPANESE STYLE!!! SO WATCH OUT (^-^) DearYoutube Users, All accounts will be deleted, This following december, Paste this on your Channel to save your channel from being deleted, Don't change This info, Or else your channel will be deleted, It is because 1,000,000 Fake accounts. Sorry for this! -Youtube"

So I'll present both cases and let you, loyal readers, be the judge.

Troll:

No one can dance that badly, surely.

Idiot:

But this bad dancing is so plausible.

Troll:

Oh come on.

Idiot:

Oh come on.

Troll:

Idiot:

I could easily swap the last two videos over without you noticing, it's so hard to tell.

Week 54: Crap Convention Cosplay

2011-03-01T14:23:00.000Z

CCCProductionsInc, or "Corpus Christi Cosplay", are not actually incorporated, you will be no doubt surprised to learn. I will allow them to explain themselves further:

"We are CCC Productions Inc (CCC stand for Corpus Christi Cosplay) and we are a newly formed cosplay group just wanting to merely entertain fellow anime geeks and cosplayers alike, no harm no foul! So we hope that you'll enjoy our videos and please no hatin', don't like? Don't comment."

They have kindly documented their hilarious anime convention Pocky shinanegans for our enternatinment.

Don't like? Don't comment.

Week 53: 1st Nyanniversary Spectacular

2011-02-22T11:10:00.002Z

Welcome to the 1st Wapanese Weekly Nyanniversary Spectacular!

I've been doing this shit for a whole year now, so I'd like to pause this week and spend some time reflecting on how far we have come. I will go about this with convenient section headings, phrased in the form of the questions on your lips.

Where are they now?
A good question, section heading. Let's have a look, shall we?

MissHannahMinx (Week 2, Week 9):

Still just as annoying.

MRirian (Weeks 24-28):

Still just as... that.

How and why did this horror begin?
A couple more favourites are here to explain precisely how and/or why they became who and/or what they are today.

CosplayComedianJoe (Week 44):

Anyone interested in seeing one of his actual live stand-up performances can start here.

Otakuiankun1 (Week 43):

But we're not done with him yet...

Has anyone else been dilligently mocking Japanophiles on the Internet besides you?
But of course.

In honour of Ian-kun's Epcot escapades, reader (viewer?) Dawn has provided us with the first ever example of Wapanese Weekly fanart: this delightful artist's impression of his fateful encounter with the mysterious temptress cashier known as Ayaka. Possibly NSFW, so it's hidden like magic.

Meanwhile Something Awful Let's Players Chip Cheezum and General Ironicus don't know this blog exists but nonetheless do a fine job of saving me the effort with this video:

What next for Wapanese Weekly?
I think it's about time this blog had a lick of paint, so watch this space. I'm thinking something like the new Gawker layout. That seems to be popular.

Also, I have noticed several videos from the archives have been going down, either due to copyright claims, account closures, or simply voluntary removals. If only there was something I could do about this...

Anyhow, in the meantime you can expect more of the same. Weeaboos and sarcasm.

Finally, to play us out, Shinitzue (Week 51) accompanies a look back on the year in Japanophilia.

See you next week!

Week 52: The Magnificent Seven #7

2011-02-15T10:35:00.002Z

The final SevenOtakus contributor is "Otaku and proud :D" Devilangel11795. Seeing as this is the fifty-second week of Wapanese Weekly it would be appropriate to see what she has been up to over the last twelve months, so let's begin with her recent end of year "New Year's Otaku Resolutions" progress video.

She can count to twenty in Japanese, sure, albeit in a thick American accent, but she doesn't appear to have gotten the hang of counting in maths yet.

Our Sunday host also seems to hold that manufactured Japanese boybands are superior to their Western counterparts, and don't (say) sound pretty much exactly the same save for language, as demonstrated in the following video and its overpowering background music.

She has Pocky.

Week 51: The Magnificent Seven #6

2011-02-08T11:40:00.003Z

"Hey what's everybody!"

On to Saturday now, and regularish SevenOtakus contributor Shinitzue (a made-up, sort of a bit Japanese-looking name, which she pronounces "Shinnit-soo") has big ambitions.

Our budding mangaka also has a tendency to create incredibly annoying intro montages, as her otaku-themed resolutions from last year demonstrate.

Another super-kawaii desu intro and outro can be found on this video of the underside of her desk, though on balance I feel it's not one to embed. This blog has principles.

THIRD-PARTY BONUS THING: In case you're getting sick of the SevenOtakus (only one more!), I point you to Something Awful's waptastic Best of The Weekend Web volume 8 (justifying the "amazing racism" tag, just so we're clear on who that refers to).

Week 50: The Magnificent Seven #5

2011-02-01T11:23:00.000Z

Dmfriend25, the SevenOtakus' sole Friday contributor, posted this comment on Week 46's spectacularly hypocritical Sustain The Industry video:

He persists with those initials in his own contribution to the subject.

But we're not here just to chuckle about infections he will, on the bright side, never contract; we're here to watch him screw around with stuffed toys, no pun intended. Firstly, his collaborations with Tuesday contributor kamikazestrwbry (of Week 47 fame).

'He's barely in it!' I hear you cry, but kamikazestrwbry's video description informs us that it was all his idea. As was his own concluding part:

And finally, his 1 year anniversary video.

He really likes that free background music doesn't he?

Week 49: The Magnificent Seven #4

2011-01-25T12:43:00.000Z

Thursday on SevenOtakus was more work than I was expecting, as main contributor agactinggirl explains.

So we won't be going through all of them (but remember, all the others still count). Instead, let's take a look at the audition which gave Thursdays the near-stability they now hold.

Bonus video: original Thursday contributor and film student DigitalTK demonstrates his artistic credentials.

Deep, man. Deep.

Week 48: The Magnificent Seven #3

2011-01-18T13:13:00.002Z

SevenOtakus' Wednesday contributor inuyashaobsesser101 gets two videos here, if only because she doesn't have a regular substitute.

First, here's her first ever SevenOtakus video:

Good start.

But she eventually got her act together - well, apart from practically every single one of her videos containing some sort of apology - in order to introduce us to one of her Kingdom Hearts pals (she's a dedicated Kingdom Hearts cosplayer, as her deviantART gallery can attest).

More of the SevenOtakus next week.

Week 47: The Magnificent Seven #2

2011-01-11T10:36:00.002Z

SevenOtakus has been introduced already, so this week allow me to present the Tuesday contributors.

Main contributor kamikazestrwbry shows us the comics she owns but can't actually read and can't be bothered to learn to read.

While condescendingly named substitute contributor TrueAnimeLovers ("Style: Financial"? What the hell?), who is a real Asian person OMG, hums to us his favourite otaku anthems.

Just five more weeks of this. Stay the course.

Week 46: The Magnificent Seven #1

2011-01-04T12:26:00.001Z

Group channel SevenOtakus (there's actually at least eleven of them) has been running for over a year. Their whole thing is to put forward a subject each week for them each to respond to on their own individually designated day of the week. Some contributors even have official substitutes just to ensure that their astronomical average viewership of roughly 100 people (including accidental views) don't go wanting.

Mondays bring us PepperedHam, who doesn't actually buy anything but still totally supports the Sustain The Industry movement - an unfortunate set of initials which, to be fair, will be largely lost on most of its proponents.

Alternatively, Mondays are occasionally handled by YokuramaAnimeTalk, who here tells us of his favourite anime credits sequences. His enthusiasm is infectious.

Aren't you excited to learn about Tueday's contributors? Well you had better be, because I'm doing six more weeks of these people.

Week 45: Dance with the Angels

2010-12-29T13:07:00.003Z

Posting a day late due to seasonal family obligations. Next week we'll be back to Tuesdays as usual.

With this being the final update of 2010, allow me to introduce YouTube group channel AngelsBlog: the "(almost) official" vlog of an international team of young women who aim to become successful Japanese pop idols under the title Cruel Angels Project. Longtime readers/viewers may remember me linking to a rather depressing BBC documentary on their leader Beckii, whose shooting to stardom among creepy middle-aged Internet people through precisely the kind of stupid bedroom dancing video I like to post on here led to the founding and casting of this full-fledged idol troupe.

Among them is Katie who, unlike her mid-teen Manx superior, is definitely old enough to know better. This week she offers us her new year's resolutions:

It is both depressing and reassuring that the kind of grass-always-greener foreign culture fetishisation upon which this blog is founded is just as potent and stupid within the nation which most frequently attracts it from without, as evidenced by the fact that the Cruel Angels are reasonably (at all) successful in Japan. That said, I'm pretty sure that by "American stars", Arashi mean actual celebrities.

Week 44: 12 Days of Kurisumasu

2010-12-21T10:19:00.002Z

Season's greetings from Wapanese Weekly. You might expect that Christmas is too baka gaijin a holiday for our beloved Japanophiles, but that would be overlooking the fact that it's one of the very few occasions in a year in which they can expect other people to spend extortionate sums of money on anime merchandise for them.

Sailortitan90luv here demonstrates those Yuletide traditions particular to the otaku community:

Kyaa, indeed. This format was more recently taken up by CosplayComedianJoe for his alleged stand-up routine (hey, you can't copyright a joke):

How many times did his otaku give him underage female sex slaves in that song? I lost count. Mark my words, though, he'll take the circuit by storm soon enough with material of that calibre. I'm not even being sarcastic - he's genuinely almost as good as Michael McIntyre.

Merry Christmas. Ha ha, yeah that's right Merry Christmas for the guys because it's Christmas. Alright, Merry Christmas.

Week 43: Ian-kun no... legend.

2010-12-14T12:36:00.002Z

18 year old user Otakuiankun1, whose profile lists his hometown as "New Tokyo-3" before lamenting that his school is "unfortunately not a japanese one", is presumably - judging by the "1" - not the only weeaboo on the Internet who has unironically assigned himself the nickname "Ian-kun".

Let's see how Ian-kun's Epcot visit went, shall we? Note: I've been having trouble with this video - if it refuses to start, clicking through to the YouTube page itself and setting the resolution to 240p tends to work out.

And then Ayaka totally actually said "Ian-kun wa", uhh... [fumbles with beginner's dictionary] ... "kakkoii desu ne". She was like totally into me, but don't go there and ask after her - she, uhh, went home to Japan because her dad is racist or something.

See? See? I have a receipt for my stupid merchandise with Ayaka's name on it and everything! What do you mean? What's creepy about keeping a receipt specifically because some Japanese girl whose job it is to be friendly to people like me has her name printed on it? You're just jealous.

And because it wouldn't be Wapanese Weekly without a good old-fashioned Otaku Room video, here is "Ian-kun no heya":

Goddamn it, Haruhi again.

Week 42: Because lesbians don't exist anywhere else

2010-12-07T11:54:00.001Z

In a break from the recent trend towards lengthy multi-video updates, I here present racism, sexism and homophobia, all in one convenient 30 second package.

Embedding and commenting has been disabled by the user, presumably in case wooly liberal-minded killjoys like me choose to criticise them for their disgusting behaviour. But they won't delete the video itself, and can't delete this blog or stop me linking to it.

So have fun.

Week 41: Vocalog

2010-11-30T09:34:00.001Z

User thatguy24487 takes his voice synthesis software very seriously.

Listen, viewers, Japanese Vocaloid canon is much deeper and more complex than you give it credit for.

Shhh, don't talk so loudly - there's people in the house and if they hear you they might come in and see you dressed like that.

I'm sorry to say, but your ingenius "one take show" concept - talking at length and unedited at a cheap webcam in the dark - has actually been done before on YouTube. Shocking, I know.

Week 40: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

2010-11-23T11:00:00.001Z

Misspelled user RezenatorZen is a man with an opinion, and his opinion will be heard.

Or not. Let's try that again.

What places Japanese anime above Western animation is clearly its capacity to be judged as "awesome" without any experience or knoweldge whatsoever of the text. He could have at least read the Wikipedia article on it instead of making shit up.

Week 39: Hare Hare Yukan't be serious

2010-11-16T10:19:00.001Z

Hare Hare Yukai (which we have come across before): originally the tongue-in-cheek dance sequence closing out episodes of the first season of anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, it has since spiralled into an international annoying nerd institution (pun intended). With the impending Blu-Ray release of the series soon to bring it back in 1080p HD, this seems as good a time as any to subject you to this special bumper edition of Wapanese Weekly:

Kyoto Animation, what have you done?

Since you were so patient with all that nonsense above (not that I expect you to watch all of it - I certainly didn't), here's a bonus video. In the description of a previous attempt, user SatsukiiiChan humbly admits, "The dance is not very well made but I'll do it again". This is the result:

Say what you will about the dancing, but removing the audio entirely is definitely an improvement.

Week 38: Rant... on... otakus

2010-11-09T12:11:00.000Z

5 stars for the man in the Slash skeleton t-shirt.

That was your script? And who is this "us"?

Week 37: Holy fucking shit.

2010-11-02T13:58:00.000Z

Last week I thought I would get into the Halowe'en spirit and mock some shoddy camerawork by comparing it to The Blair Witch Project.

I had not seen this video.

Happy fucking nightmares.

Ruaridoll, with her 2,231 subscribers and counting, is shaping up to be the next Magibon.

If anyone can top Week 17, it's her.

Week 36: Wappy Hallowe'en, or something

2010-10-26T10:46:00.001+01:00

In September of 2009, four losers disappeared in Fort Wayne, Indiana while shooting a documentary.

A year later their footage was found.

I am so sorry! Because it was my fault. I was the one who brought them here.

Week 35: Abunai, baka videos

2010-10-19T15:29:00.001+01:00

"eduardomiyasaki", or "EduChan", is an 18 year old Brazillian "Gakusei", or "fucking tool".

To be fair he did warn us.

And at least he's not actually singing. Arigatou for watching.

Week 34: Takes the "Sex" out of "Sexy"

2010-10-12T11:12:00.000+01:00

And adds a question mark. If not for the Grade A "otaku room" background implying rather extraordinary monetary expense, I would have assumed TanimeChan - whose entire, horrifyingly frequently updated Channel is much the same - to be a troll.

Why do so many YouTube users edit like that? Is she unable to speak intelligibly for more than three seconds at a time, or does she have to stop in order to replay her own clips for a few hours because constantly staring at herself on her monitor during recording is not sufficient to satiate her unfounded vanity?

Week 33: I can't read them so they must be brilliant

2010-10-05T10:16:00.000+01:00

Three videos today. You will not last through one of them.

First, NaruNaruNaruto spends two lengthy videos bragging to us about his collection of imported Japanese videogames.

Let's just look past the fact that half of those games are available worldwide (hell, the Japanese PSP port of Gitaroo Man is predated by several years by the English version of the PS2 game), and that the other half consists almost entirely of bland anime-licensed shovelware. Of course they're better - they're from Japan!

I am most appalled, though, that someone on Earth is proud of having spent money on Resident Evil: Gun Survivor. I doubt even Capcom themselves are.

Bonus "Otaku room" video:

Week 32: AiRu sure about this?

2010-09-28T11:06:00.000+01:00

Patience is a virtue.

I'm pretty sure he sings from a little den which he has constructed from duvet covers. Judge for yourselves.

Week 31: Vanity Fair

2010-09-21T13:15:00.001+01:00

Introducing MiyukiRini: "a 17 yr old poet/writer,model,actress,cosplayer,Japan dork, and American Patriot :)". I'm sure that her misuse of punctuation as basic as the comma doesn't fairly represent her way with words as a genius poet/writer.

Just think, viewers; had you got out from under that rock and seen this video in time, you could have actually met this international Internet celebrity at "Oh-takon". And not only that, but you could have appeared in one of her videos, which have been viewed upwards of one hundred times (on occasion)!

Week 30: I'm not racist, but...

2010-09-14T08:10:00.000+01:00

The YouTube description in full:

"First Off, I Am NOT Racist At All. I Love All Asians.
I Wish I Was Japanese. And I Was Just Having Some Fun.
This Was NOT To Offend Anyone. Kp Productions"

Hm.

Week 29: Big Bang Fighting

2010-09-07T09:12:00.002+01:00

According to Wikipedia, G-Dragon is a South Korean pop star.

I therefore cannot explain why this trio of Romanian girls is wishing him a happy birthday in Japanese and English.

Nor can I explain the words "ASIAN PRIDE" on the middle girl's YouTube channel description.

Week 28: Magibon Month #5

2010-08-31T11:26:00.001+01:00

Some of you may be worried that the public embarrassment detailed last week could have taken its toll on Magibon, leading her to rethink her past work and move on with her life. Let's look at her latest video, posted 30th July 2010:

Nope.

Regular programming resumes next week.

Week 27: Magibon Month #4

2010-08-24T09:09:00.003+01:00

So, naturally with all this international Internet fame, eventually Magibon found herself whisked off to Japan to appear on live Japanese television. The results can be inspected below (apologies for the wall of Internet meme annotations you'll have to disable - that's what happens when a video is uploaded for the convenience of Encyclopedia Dramatica):

Whether it was a Japanese fan in the production team who had misunderstood her mastery of the words "mina-san", "konnichi wa" and "desu" as evidence of fluency, or if it was someone deliberately setting her up to look like an idiot, we will probably never know. But you almost feel sorry for her.

Almost.

Week 26: Magibon Month #3

2010-08-17T10:49:00.000+01:00

Naturally these enthralling videos launched Magibon straight to internet stardom.

This video, for example, has earned a respectable 5,982,996 views to date. As well as video responses like these, slightly sinister in their sincerity:

True to the spirit of the original, I'm sure you'll agree.

On an unrelated note, a Wapanese Weekly appropriate documentary was shown on BBC Three last week. UK-based (or proxy-assisted) readers can view it here until the 25th.

Week 25: Magibon Month #2

2010-08-10T11:44:00.000+01:00

For those unfamiliar with Magibon's signature style, here's where it all started:

Fascinating.

Week 24: Magibon Month #1

2010-08-03T10:13:00.000+01:00

Prepare yourselves for the most intense month in Wapanese Weekly history: Magibon Month, celebrating the birthday of a woman who singlehandedly ensures this blog will not be short of material for at least two more years.

Week 23: Cosplay Meet

2010-07-27T16:17:00.002+01:00

Some (some) of these aren't specifically Japanophilic enough for this blog, but I feel as though it's necessary to give you the whole collection of these horrible videos. To keep things tidy, I'll only embed the relevant ones.

Part 1

Was that supposed to be a Mario impression?

Brace yourselves for the epic Joker trilogy:

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Not embedding that shit.

Ugh.

And finally:

Yes, it was supposed to be a Mario impression.

Utterly hateful.

Week 22: More sexual racism

2010-07-20T08:37:00.001+01:00

Ah, the classic South Korean pop music defense.

All Asian men are concert pianists. Fact.

[ARCHIVE LINK]

Week 21: Kyowned

2010-07-13T10:03:00.001+01:00

Readers of the other blog and/or people who have spent more than thirty minutes in my company will know I'm rather fond of certain versions of the Haruhi franchise.

So is jpopprincess101; also known as Emma, or Natsumi to her imaginary friends:

People like this are why we can't have nice things.

Actually, no. People like this, who(se desperate male friends) invest ridiculous amounts of money in pointless merchandise, are precisely why we can have nice things. I don't know how I sleep at night.

Week 20: Goldmine

2010-07-06T08:54:00.000+01:00

xKittyPrincessx, for all your stupid cosplay dancing needs. Just don't expect this many videos every week.

Advertising!

Miming!

Something!

Week 19: X-JAPAN.wmv

2010-06-29T08:39:00.000+01:00

I am at a loss as to why he feels the need to present this as a kind of J-Rock personal ad.

But it's refreshing to see a musician who doesn't waste his time with those old-fashioned constraints like rhythm, key signatures, or anything resembling skill.

Week 18: Troll showcase 1

2010-06-22T10:00:00.000+01:00

A little break from the norm this week.

Instead of your usual pointing and laughing, I present a couple of my favourite fakes uncovered during my weekly YouTube searches.

Marter-nay!

Week 17: In which I peak all too early

2010-06-15T08:33:00.002+01:00

Really now.

NekoEmily93, an Israeli girl in a bedroom adorned with Japanese flags, wearing a sailor uniform and singing the Japanese national anthem badly.

How will I ever top this?

Week 16: Stapler mouth shut

2010-06-08T13:30:00.000+01:00

I can't think of anything even vaguely amusing to say, so this can speak for itself.

Week 15: A pair of total Pretz

2010-06-01T11:53:00.003+01:00

Two for the price of one this week. But is that a price worth paying?

And the promised bonus feature.

Week 14: Hello, I morning utterance countryman!

2010-05-25T09:05:00.002+01:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you BabelFish.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

[ARCHIVE LINK]

Week 13: 80turk80

2010-05-18T15:58:00.000+01:00

He's single, ladies.

Week 12: The American Ambassador

2010-05-11T11:25:00.002+01:00

People of a nervous disposition are advised to skip this week's video, as it contains scenes of fat guys in shorts which some viewers may find disturbing.

Week 11: A Quinton Flynn-off

2010-05-04T10:40:00.003+01:00

Tch, Raiden circa MGS4 would take down both yo' asses, man.

Week 10: This week is boring

2010-04-27T11:20:00.001+01:00

The standards of comic idiocy I've established on this blog are too high for this video to be honest.

But it's worth it for the point where she spontaneously transforms into Elton John.

Week 9: Kakkouwarui

2010-04-20T08:43:00.000+01:00

A response to another godawful MissHannahMinx video - you may remember her from Week 2.

I'm practically giving you two for one this week. Sorry about that.

Week 8: Anime Club

2010-04-13T08:58:00.001+01:00

No.

Week 7: Loveless, Part 2

2010-04-06T09:33:00.001+01:00

And now, the thrilling conclusion...

Week 6: Loveless, Part 1

2010-03-30T09:00:00.001+01:00

In which a bored girl sits in her room and films herself pretending to be a bored cat-boy sitting in his room.

Even the camera struggles to stay awake.

Apparently, cat-boy is from something unironically entitled Loveless.

Also, protip: that's not how you write "Death Note" vertically.

Week 5: Ichigo away

2010-03-23T11:56:00.000Z

Another glorious original!

Alternative title: Ichigonads.

Week 4: Nami Tamakit stop

2010-03-16T11:51:00.000Z

Remember last week when I proudly announced my independence from other, funnier websites?

Yeah, I don't have much time today.

Spoiler: the best bit is the face he pulls for the instrumental at 3:15.

Week 3: Ponyour bike

2010-03-09T15:17:00.000Z

Breaking the shackles of b3ta and Something Awful links, I bring you the first Wapanese Weekly Original:

As usual, her channel is overflowing with crap like this.

Week 2: ಠ_ಠ

2010-03-02T15:42:00.002Z

Since I've only committed myself to weekly updates here, this woman could probably keep me going for a year or more.

You know, it wasn't racist until you identified "squinty" as a racial trait by asking.

Week 1: Dunce-d

2010-02-23T19:56:00.000Z

Welcome to Wapanese Weekly, your weekly-updated source of white people behaving like moronic japanophiles on video sharing sites!

For the first post, I offer something special:

See what I did there?